January 12, 2009
Yesterday, I went to the largest funeral I’ve ever had the privilege to attend. Crowd estimates are just under 1000 people. Yes, really, 1000 people.
Who has a funeral with that many people in attendance? Royalty, celebrity, heads of state? I would say that judging by the people who loved her, Angie Tinker was all of those things to us. Yet she was a humble grandmother in Middle Georgia who taught special needs children, directed a crisis pregnancy center and lived to play praise and worship music.
When you picture Angie, it’s hard to separate her from her keyboard, the one that her diminuitive frame barely peeked out over. Angie would be there behind the keyboard, playing for all she was worth, singing and lifting the name of Jesus literally any opportunity she had. It was fitting that her funeral reflected this love. The life of Praise left its mark on Angie.
When you picture Angie, it’s hard not to remember that elfin twinkle in her eyes and that little smile she always had ready. You couldn’t help but smile back, and if you didn’t, see would be quick to find out why. Angie loved people and she easily conveyed her genuine concern for you if she sensed anything wrong. If Angie knew you, she cared about you. It was just that simple for her. The life of Selflessness left its mark on Angie.
When you picture Angie, it’s especially hard not to see the family that she loved. Where you saw Angie, you saw John, her husband of thirty-three years. And, whenever possible, her children and grandchildren. The quiet strength that she passed on to her family was evident in the way they handled their grief and in how they dealt with others during this tragedy. The life lived in love of her family left its mark on Angie. But, it especially left its mark on her children.
When you picture Angie, it’s the most hard to picture her as gone. I’m glad that those of us in attendance yesterday share the hope of seeing her again. As much as it pains us now, none of us would wish her back from that experience of heavenly praise and worship. Well, maybe if we’re truthful, just for a minute….
For all my friends who knew Angie, here’s an opportunity to share your favorite memory. I will pass these on to John when he is out of ICU and share them with her children.
Or maybe, like me, you also want to reflect on what has left its mark on your life and what mark you are leaving on others.
September 2, 2008
I’m having a furniture crisis. Maybe I should preface this by saying that I’m grateful that I have nice furniture. I’ve paid my dues with card tables, family rejects and a mattress on the floor, and I’m happy to be past those days. My problem is too much furniture for my house.
Simple, right? Sell some or give it away. These are the obvious solutions. And, I’ve done some of that. Here’s the problem. A lot of my furniture was lovingly collected over the years from antique stores or family inheritances. Most of the pieces are ones that I’ve lived with so long that it would be weird to not have them. We have history. Two pieces, a pump organ and partner’s size desk were purchased when we lived in a huge Victorian home that easily accommodated larger pieces. About three years ago, we moved into a fairly new house. The rooms are scaled very differently. So now, I have too much furniture.
I loaned my oversized desk to my oldest for a while. Last night, it came back to me. I need the desk, but I can’t figure out how to make things look right with this rather large piece of furniture in a small room. (Insert Heavy Sigh here).
I think that I either need to sell the desk or get a new house with rooms of a different scale. I’m leaning toward the house solution! I love that desk….
Amazing, isn’t it? How attached we can get to things. Makes you understand why Jesus had the conversation he did with the rich young ruler when he told him to sell all he had and give it to the poor.
Could I do that? Could you? For me, I hope the answer is yes. Even though I love that desk and some of the family pieces that have meaning to me, none of them mean more than my relationship with Jesus. So far, the Lord hasn’t spoken to me to sell all and give it to the poor. I’d like to believe that I’d be able to if the time ever came. I don’t think that is a lifestyle choice we are all called to make, but, if we were, would we be ready?
Lately, I’ve started reading another blog on a daily basis. The author, whom I’ve never met, sold all and went on the mission field to feed the hungry. Kinda puts my furniture crisis in perspective when I read about her story. I’d like to recommend her. She’s new on my blog roll, Kristiapplesauce, http://kristiapplesauce.typepad.com/kristi/. Give her a visit and tell her I sent you please!
Oh, and if you know anyone who needs a large antique William and Mary style desk, someone who is good at furniture arrangement, or someone who wants to buy my house, send them my way.
Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Yet lackest thou one thing: sell all that thou hast, and distribute unto the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.
August 23, 2008
School starting brought about a new morning routine at my house. I am out the door by a specific time every morning with my fourteen-year-old daughter and my five-year-old granddaughter. I head for two different schools to drop them off. Like everyone else, I play beat the clock. Not just so we won’t be late, but so I miss the majority of the carpool mom traffic. Every morning the routine is the same. Make sure everyone has eaten, check to see that the five-year-old has shoes on, brush hair, check for bookbags, hustle everyone out the door and then drive the same route. The thing about routines is that they are, well, routine. I get in the car and just try to get it all done in a timely manner. Little thought is required. I’m in the zone.
So, this morning, after we backed out of the garage and headed out the driveway, Kenzie, the five-year-old, began chattering. All part of the routine. One comment stuck in my head, but I didn’t process it until a few moments later.
“The trees are dancing!”
I really wasn’t listening much because my thoughts were on accomplishing the routine. And, Kenzie is a chatterer. She enjoys her own conversation. Sometimes a reply isn’t necessary. Often, she is off on an imaginative tale. But, this morning, she gleefully said, “The trees are dancing.” And, before I got out of the subdivision, I finally noticed how windy it was.
Oh! The trees were dancing. I was so busy with my “getting things done mentality” that I wasn’t really paying attention to the world around me. She was.
OOPS! Definately not a “Stop and smell the roses” kind of morning for me. But, the little one behind me in the car was noticing and enjoying what was happening in the world. She didn’t care about the routine. She was just experiencing life.
I guess the lesson here is obvious. Don’t just get through the day. Enjoy the day. I started paying attention to the movement of the leaves and the beauty of the trees dancing. It really was fun to watch.
It is so easy to lose the sense of wonder for God’s creation that we had as a child. It’s also easy to lose the sense of wonder that we had for God himself. That sense of wonder that we had when salvation was new and we were experiencing the all the wonders of a new relationship with God. The older our relationship with God is, the more likely we lose some of the wonder, the awe, the newness. Just like we need to stop and watch the trees dancing or the beauty of a sunset, we need to stop and enjoy the wonder of our relationship with God.
So, take some time to enjoy what God has created. The wind, a sunset, a glorious cloud formation. But, don’t forget to renew the sense of wonder in your relationship with God. Like a child. Then it won’t be only the trees dancing!
And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
August 22, 2008
Today my Dear One took my for my thrice yearly eye doctor appointment. Three times a year isn’t exactly normal for most people, but it is what my eyes now require after over twenty-five years of diabetes. Every four months I go to the retina specialist to have my eyes checked for bleeds from diabetically weakened blook vessels (retinopathy) or a build up of fluid that could cause my retinas to detach.
My report was a good one. No new bleeding and pressures of fluid just slightly over normal. So far, I’ve only had one bleed that was easily repaired through laser surgery. I am blessed beyond measure to have such a lack of complications in this area. Blindness does not appeal to me.
That being said, I have just one complaint. I leave the eye doctor half-blind. Of course, why wouldn’t I be. First they super-dialate me, then they shine a really bright light to illuminate the back of my eyeballs, and finally, they either take pictures of the backs of my eyeballs (more bright light) or have me watch bright patterns to test pressures. I usually need not only my sunglasses, but their fashionable shades over them as well.
It is many hours before I can see anything other than what is very close to me. Ironic, isn’t it? To save my eyesight, they temporarily blind me.
A lot of things in life don’t make apparent sense to us that way. It’s like vaccines or flu shots for example. Inject a modified form of a disease to protect us from the real thing. Basically, things don’t always work in ways that we would think they should.
God is like that too. Personally, I think he has a strong sense of irony. Oh, and a sense of humor too! Why else would he have made someone like Peter into not only his disciple, but a great evangelist. Or the greatest persecutor of Christians in his time into the man who wrote the majority of the New Testament.
I try to remember that when things don’t go the way I think they should. God’s plan doesn’t always make sense in the ways that we expect. But, it does always do the job.
Any thing in your life not going the way you expect? Then you should be wondering just what it is that God is up to for your good.
And the Lord [said] unto him, Arise, and go into the street which is called Straight, and enquire in the house of Judas for [one] called Saul, of Tarsus: for, behold, he prayeth, And hath seen in a vision a man named Ananias coming in, and putting [his] hand on him, that he might receive his sight. Then Ananias answered, Lord, I have heard by many of this man, how much evil he hath done to thy saints at Jerusalem: And here he hath authority from the chief priests to bind all that call on thy name. But the Lord said unto him, Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel: For I will shew him how great things he must suffer for my name’s sake.
August 18, 2008
For the last week, my Dear One and I have been working out together at a local health club. Although I had been walking with friends, I knew that I needed more if I was ever going to really be back in shape. My Dear One was also feeling motivated to build up his core strength since his life activity levels have changed. So, off to the club we go for three workouts a week.
The first part of day one wasn’t so bad. We were learning how to use the machines and didn’t take on anything too challenging. For the aerobic portion, the club had all the usual machines: ellipticals, bikes, stair climbers, etc. They also offered a Zumba class, a Latin dance/aerobic class. I suggested that we try it, and my Dear One, good sport that he is, agreed to join me. I should mention that while standing outside the door waiting for class to start, he was making comments. Actually, it was the same comment repeatedly. “This is going to be a disaster.” You see, he has no background in dance. None. Nada. And physical coordination, like for sports, has never been his strong suit. Never.
Surprisingly to him, he did well. We both had a blast and plan to continue. However, neither of us made it through the entire first workout. We bailed a little over half way through with sheets of sweat pouring off of us. Of course, what we are finding is that there are a lot of muscles that we haven’t used for a while. After a week of working out, there are still some minor sore spots, but we see a slow change in our ability to get through a workout. Muscles are like that. They let you know that they haven’t been used. And, amazingly, they repond to use and begin to do their job again.
Spiritual muscles are the same way. I’ve been asked to lead a Bible Study on the book of John by a group of about 6 young women. After we found the study we wanted, I pulled out an older study Bible that I hadn’t used for a while. I looked back over the extensive note-taking I had done in several places in this book and realized that my current, paltry reading schedule doesn’t compare to what I used to do. Frankly, as far as actual study of the Word goes, I’m out of shape. I don’t doubt that preparing for this study will be the equivalent of my first day back in something aerobic. A lot of work, spiritual sweating, but easier after I get back into it. Oh, and addictive too!
It’s easy to let all of our muscles slide into disuse, spiritual or physical. What we need to remember is that it is possible to get back into shape. Already, I see the benefits from the physical effort. I have more energy, I don’t need that afternoon nap, and I get more done overall. With that as an example, I can’t wait to see what the spiritual aerobics do for me! Are you in your best spiritual shape? If not, start where you are, build up those muscles, and get that heart rate up! And, report in. Where are you reading/studying right now?
And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified.
August 11, 2008
I live in a divided house right now. Of course in one way, we’ve been a divided house since my first-born went to college. She went to UGA and my dear one took some classes at GaTech. Every fall, they have a standing appointment to watch the annual game together. And, every year, my dear one suffers the razzing of his daughter when his team goes down in flames. At times like that the comparison of team IQ’s doesn’t help.
I wish our division related to football. Instead, it involves a major family decision. You know, the ones you don’t make unless you are in agreement? The funny thing is that I thought we were on the same page. So did he! Until it became obvious that we weren’t.
Families are such an amazing thing. We’re all different, but we all function best the same way: in unity. It became apparent in our discussion that we really weren’t that far apart, but even the smallest gap meant that we weren’t in agreement.
No agreement. No action.
Now, you should understand that none of this means that the two of us are fighting or in strife. We just aren’t in the same place. We have a different thought process, different emotional needs, and different perspectives.
We are in agreement not to let this divide us. I know that sounds like a contradiction, but I guess it’s like agreeing to disagree.
It’s hard not to argue when you don’t agree. But, what I’ve decided to do is trust that God knows what He is doing and to stay open to hearing from His Spirit. If either one of us is in error,God will reveal that. Or if one of us is out of God’s timing, He’ll reveal that too. I have no doubt of my dear one’s ability to hear from God or his willingness. In the meantime, we keep the rest of our relationship in harmony. It’s not important that one of us gets our way. What is important is the power of unity in a relationship. Unity keeps us out of trouble, confirms God’s will in our life, and provides a powerful blessing. Stay in unity, even when it’s hard. Oh, and “GO TECH, GO DAWGS, or ROLL TIDE, ” whichever is important to you!
Psalm 133: 1-3
Behold, how good and how pleasant [it is] for brethren to dwell together in unity! [It is] like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, [even] Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; As the dew of Hermon, [and as the dew] that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, [even] life for evermore.
August 10, 2008
For the last day-and-a-half, I have been at the “Extraordinary Women’s Conference” in my town. I went very reluctantly. It was promoted in my church for at least a month beforehand. But, I would pick up the brochures and just have no interest whatsoever.
My Dear One said “You should go.” So, I would pick up the brochure again, look it over, and register no interest whatsoever.
The friend who was promoting it at church would ask me again saying that she still had the inexpensive version of the tickets. So, I would pick up the brochure again, look it over, and register no interest whatsoever.
It got closer to time. My Dear One said, “You should go.” So, I would pick up the brochure again, look it over, and register no interest whatsoever.
I know, you get the drift. I really couldn’t have been less interested. Finally, my Dear One mentioned that a friend of ours was coming in from several states away and was going to the conference. I perked up. I still didn’t care about the conference, but I did care about getting to spend some time with her. And, if I had to go to the conference to do so, I decided it was worth it. So, I finally bought a ticket.
A couple of days before the conference, our friend turned back in her travels and headed back to her home to deal with her dear one’s medical needs.
Crap! Now I’d spent the money and felt obligated to go. A group of us had made dinner and car pool plans. Guess who was supposed to be the driver….
I couldn’t think of a way to back out gracefully. Therefore, I went. I really wasn’t expecting much. But God is always full of surprises.
I can’t describe the stories the speakers told. It would take way too long. Suffice it to say, GO to one if it comes to your town. Here are two things I got out of it. I’ll share more another time.
1. God isn’t finished with me. I need to keep dreaming and expecting God to move in my life. One of my dreams has always centered around orphans and relief work. While I was at the conference my husband and I agreed to sponsor a 16 yr. old boy from Uganda. I even talked to the World Help people with thoughts of being involved more than just sponsoring. I believe that God isn’t through with my dreams to help orphans. Psalm 138:8 The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.
2. My tragedies and upsets are no surprise to God. They don’t even derail HIS plan. But it may mean that what I pray and believe for comes a different way than what I expected. As a minor part of a bigger upset, I recently felt it necessary to stop singing on the praise team at my church. I really felt like I had no other right choice to make because of some personal circumstances. Singing on that team and being a part of the impact of praise on the body really meant a lot to me. Way more than I know how to convey. I had wanted to do it for years. When I finally asked, it was okayed, but it was almost another year before I could because I had lost my singing voice to four months of pertussis. When I finally got up there, I knew it was God. All nervousness and fear were gone and in their place was a confidence and joy that is indescribable. And now, because of circumstances, I saw that dream derailed. I have grieved that tremendously. Now, I can believe that this is just a bump on the road. God will give me other opportunities in other places to exercise the gift He has given me. I’m looking and expecting God’s plan to come through on that one.
Isaiah 43:19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, [and] rivers in the desert.
Have you had a dream derailed? Or worse, have you stopped dreaming? Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” God is speaking of how even Babylonian captivity won’t derail his plans for his people. The scripture goes on to say in verses 12-14, “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with all your heart.”
Honestly, I really had no interest whatsoever in going. I couldn’t have dreamed what God had in store for me!
Don’t stop dreaming. Phillipians 1:6 reassures us …that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Maybe your dream has just taken another, better path.
What are you dreaming?