June 17, 2008

My oldest daughter is an awesome photographer.  The pictures she takes are pure art.  Like me, she deals with Attention Deficit Disorder on a daily basis.  Unlike me, you put her behind the lens of a camera and life comes into focus. 

Focus, for me, can be an elusive thing.  Some days it’s there, intensely.  Today, I struggle with focus.  My brain’s lens is angled too wide between what I want to do and what I have to do.  Between what is of interest and what has to be done. 

For the record, what has to be done involves the state of the bathrooms, the fact that I could create a small-to-medium sized dog off the hair that mine have left on the floor (R.I.P. roomba), the four child life histories waiting to be written, the laundry, etc., etc., etc.

What is of interest is the five-year-old grandchild who wants to play Go Fish, the still unfinished novel, writing this blog, reading a good book, surfing my favorite web sites, answering my email, and just about anything that isn’t work. 

The myth is that those of us who deal with ADHD can’t focus.  We can.  I can.  But usually best on something with a high motivational factor.  Most days I can find a balance.  Do some of both.  Be efficient.  Get several things done. 

Today wasn’t one of those days.

Instead, the fuzzy brained status won.  The world was out of focus.  I did a few things, but the floor still has dog hair tumbleweeds in the corners, anyone who uses the laundry room will need a compass to find their way in and out, and there are still four child life histories to write. 

So, what do I do now?  Where is the lens that brings today into focus?

The lens used to be one of guilt.  Seeing myself as a failure based on my lack of performance would have been the theme of my mental photo gallery.  Now, the camera lens I use is one of grace. 

 II Corinithian 12: 9And He said unto me, “My grace is sufficent for thee, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Most gladly therefore will I glory rather in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Grace is sufficient.  I am not my performance.  Tomorrow will be a better day.  Fuzzy-brained days rarely come in pairs.  But, in the meantime, there is grace. 


3 Responses to “Focus”

  1. Dusty Takle Says:

    God bless the days of focus. Am I ADD and unaware? Girl, we have more in common than I thought. And, to think I’ve known since I was a little lass.

  2. Lynn C. Says:

    That was soooo good! I am a late person catcher upper tonight! Glad I read your blog! Shed some light on something I haven’t thought about!
    Love you, keep them coming!

  3. dlkaufman Says:

    Dusty, it is genetic….:)

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